Posts Tagged ‘submissive’

Virtual book tour for kinky anthology Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission

April 30, 2010

Every day in May a new blogger will post about Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission. Join us! Links will be updated below as they’re posted.

Please, Sir virtual book tour dates for May 2010

May 1 Baser Instincts
May 2 Man Eater Book
May 3 Hard and Fast
May 4 Erobintica
May 5 Dangerous Lilly
May 6 Sugarbutch Chronicles
May 7 The Sex Carnival
May 8 My Kinky World
May 9 Lusty Literati
May 10 Prurient Interests
May 11 Sarah Sloane
May 12 Hello Saraid
May 13 Desk Full of Dildos (That Toy Chick)
May 14 Julian Arancia (Flavius Iulianus)
May 15 Kristina Wright
May 16 Exploring Intimacy
May 17 Erotica Electronica
May 18 Our Goings On
May 19 SpastikFantastik
May 20 Alpine Subdreams
May 21 Orlando Sex & Relationships Examiner
May 22 Beth Wylde
May 23 Heather Lin
May 24 Pieces of Jade
May 25 Heartbreak Nympho
May 26 Yolanda Shoshana
May 27 ¡Qué sinvergüenza!
May 28 Leather Yenta (Lolita Wolf)
May 29 Marilyn’s Room (Marilyn Jaye Lewis)
May 30 Wanton Lotus Reviews
May 31 Curvaceous Dee

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“On availability” from Beautiful, depraved

April 27, 2010

A snippet from an old post at Beautiful, depraved – do read the whole thing:

For as long as I can remember, I’ve imagined myself amongst groups of men, their plaything, at their service, absolutely willing to do anything that will please them. And make them come. There’s a part of me that could happily spend the remainder of my days as a fuck-cum-slut whose only purpose is to please men. I love this idea and it turns me on immeasurably.

From the beginning, I felt that this experience with Andre would be a powerful one if I was willing to give myself completely to it. And so I did. There could be no half measures, or I might as well not be doing it at all. This required complete trust. There were a few ground rules in this dynamic: 1) I was to tell him everything and keep nothing back. 2) I deferred all sexual activity to him – including masturbation and other partners. My entire being – my body, my thoughts, my feelings – all were his domain. My autonomy no longer existed.

Transformational pain and BDSM

April 27, 2010

This is from a blog post on “Transformation and transcendence in BDSM” by Come Hither and Different Loving author Dr. Gloria Brame – do read the whole thing:

Some crave pain as a form of expiation which relieves of stress or guilt. For some, it’s a shock to the system that wakes them up and makes them feel more alive. No time to think about a fight you had last week when a needle is piercing your nipple. The intense focus and concentration needed to endure pain is both draining and liberating: some people walk away feeling as if they’ve been on a mental vacation from their worldly woes, and can revel in the afterglow for days, even weeks. I’ve known people who view pain as an endurance contest, a sober, invigorating test of courage whose pay-off is the sense of personal triumph. I’ve known many who just think spankings and whippings are fun, and feel happier, lighter, connecting with a more playful and child-like side of themselves.

For sexual submissives, pain blasts opens doors to psychological surrender. Consenting to pain means the submissive accepts that the dominant has special rights and powers over the submissive’s body. Acting out the rituals of pain are, in a sense, object lessons in dominance and submission. Pain play is also an exercise in trust: to make yourself completely vulnerable or, conversely, to accept full responsibility for the trust you’ve been given, is an ultimate form of intimacy that cements the emotional bonds between partners:

At its darkest and most intense, people may explore the edges of pain uniquely for the intense biological rushes. The brain releases intoxicating flushes of natural opiates and adrenalin to remedy pain and even casual players relish the high of those natural chemicals. But those who explore the edges learn to ride the surges with skill and grace, sometimes all the way to euphoria.

Recreational D/s with Please, Sir author Mercy Loomis

April 16, 2010

This is the third in a series of interviews with contributors to the anthology Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission (Cleis Press), out now. (Read the first interview, with Emerald about kinky Krav Mag, here, and the second, with Isabelle Gray, here.)

Name: Mercy Loomis
URL: www.mercyloomis.com

How did you come up with the idea for your story “The Sub Fairy” in Please, Sir?

I wanted to do a story about more recreational D/s, about how a vanilla couple might get into it or incorporate it in their lives. And I really love that Halloween costume and I wanted to do something more with it than just wear it, hehe.

Was it a challenging story or did the writing come easily?

Figuring out how to frame the story was hard, but once I knew where I was going the rest came pretty easily.

Do you have a favorite sentence or paragraph from your story?

I didn’t understand the appeal, I truly didn’t, but after months of muttering “I don’t know why I like this, but I do,” I accepted it without question.” That, in a nutshell, has been my experience, and hearing it from other people has always made me feel better. I wanted to pass on that “oh good, I’m not the only one” feeling.

I decided that “Risk and Reward” is an applicable theme for Please,
Sir
. Does this theme resonate with you for your story?

I think it does. The narrator takes a bit of a risk bringing up the subject, even though it’s not explicitly stated. She doesn’t know how her husband is going to react, and it can be scary rocking the boat in an established relationship, when you have a lot to lose.

Is this story similar to or different from the other erotica you’ve written?

Both. I write a lot of different erotica. I think it’s thematically closest to my story “When in Rome,” in that both stories deal with first or early experiences in D/s and with the risk of altering an established relationship.

What do you think makes an erotica story successful?

For erotica specifically, the heat has to be to purpose. Regardless of how explicit you get (some stories call for very, some call for hardly at all), the sex has to be important to the story.

Do you have any advice for budding erotica writers?

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing. Write a lot. If you don’t practice you won’t improve. Listen to your inner critic above all others – a lot of people will not get your work, so take outside opinion with that in mind. Pay attention to the possibilities that are all around you every day.
Ask “what if?” a lot! Love what you do.

What are you working on now?

I’m working on a couple of short stories and a novella, and trying to decide what novel I want to work on next.

Order Please, Sir from:

Amazon.com

Bn.com

Borders

Powell’s

IndieBound

Cleis Press

Kindle version

“Degrading, kinky sex” and feminism

March 26, 2010

Examiner.com interviewed Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission editor Rachel Kramer Bussel about the connection between feminism and BDSM, especially related to female submissives and male tops:

“To me, it’s important to remember that we do bring feminism into the bedroom, but there isn’t a single “feminist” way to have sex. One way isn’t better than another and it’s very easy to sit in judgment of other people, especially when they’re doing something you don’t understand or that unnerves you, which I think is especially the case with female submissives/male tops. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t investigate and question and explore our erotic inclinations through a feminist lens, but that it’s complicated and personal.”

Indeed, as the forces of sexual acceptance continue to open up doors previously held shut, erotica literature expands its horizons to accommodate. When asked what she looks for in her anthologies, Bussel says she appreciates “stories that are, firstly, hot, but that also give us some insight into the mind of, say, someone who’s submissive, or dominant.”

As for that dicey combo of feminism and kinky sex, she is quick to point to our changing gender roles. “If feminism is going to be relevant to sexuality, we need to also look at what it’s like for male submissives, for female dominants, for those who aren’t male or female, and for anyone who doesn’t fit into the married heterosexual missionary position so-called ‘norm.’ We can’t police our fantasies; or rather, we can, but then we miss out on so, so much.”